JAIMIE'S SECRET SPIES: THE TV SERIES
EPISODE 2:4 - "ENTER THE COWBOY"
AIRDATE: 01/08/02

TEASER

EXT. FORT KNOX - DAY

The grounds of the fortress-like building are a shambles.  The massive steel
gates have been smashed to the ground, as if by a giant fist.  Small fires
are burning in various places.  A small TASK FORCE, carrying assorted and
obviously high-tech RIFLES, approaches the main gate.  A SECURITY GUARD runs
from his booth to confront the group, his RADIO squawking incoherently in
one hand, his PISTOL held at ready in the other.  He points the pistol at
the group.  They react only by staring at him menacingly as they continue to
walk towards him.

         SECURITY GUARD
F-f-freeze!  I've c-c-called the police!  Stop!  Stop!

A tall, beautiful woman, SERPENTA, steps from the center of the task force.
She is dressed in a skin-tight green snakeskin dress, and has long green
hair.  She motions imperiously at the guard.  Golden snake-themed jewelry
glitters from her fingers and wrist in the bright sunlight.

        SERPENTA
Freessse him.

One of the task force men levels his rifle at the hapless security guard and
smirks.  As his finger tightens on the trigger, a single GUNSHOT sounds from
offscreen.  The rifle is jerked violently from the man's hands.  As it
falls, it fires a concentrated blast of white fog.  A nearby trash
receptacle is quickly encased in a glittering sheath of ice.  The guard
wisely runs for cover.

[EXT. COURTYARD IN FRONT OF MAIN ENTRANCE]

As Serpenta and company scan the area for the source of the gunfire, our
attention is drawn to a large, previously unremarkable shrubbery
arrangement.  The shrubs shimmer briefly, as if in a heat haze, then
disappear.  They were only holographic camophlage.  In their place is a
large, gleaming, and obviously advanced TANK.  The tank is decorated with
the famous and much-feared markings of Jaimie's Secret Spies.
Incongruously, the word "Lucille" is written in neat red cursive script on
the side of the turret.  Below it is a small, tasteful "cheesecake" pin-up
painting of a woman, such as those found on World War II bombers.  

A tall man in a well-worn black cowboy hat is standing halfway out of the
hatch, chewing on the end of a matchstick.  (Which is odd, since we never
see him smoke.)  He obviously hasn't shaved in days.  He obviously doesn't
care a whit about it.  COWBOY ZYDECO casually blows the smoke from the
muzzle of a COLT PEACEMAKER, and slides it smoothly into a holster at his
hip.

        SERPENTA
No!  It'sss one of Jaimie'sss Sssecret Ssspiesss!

Cowboy Zydeco tips the brim of his hat in greeting salute, ever the
gentleman.  He smiles disarmingly, but doesn't let his guard down for an
instant.  He speaks with a thick Texas accent.

        COWBOY ZYDECO
That's right, ma'am.  Cowboy Zydeco's thuh name.  An' this here?  This is
Lucille.  Say "Howdy!" to thuh nice lady, Lucy!

Cowboy Zydeco fondly pats the giant tank.  Apparently of it's own accord,
the turret rotates with a smooth, ominous rumble of machinery.  The enormous
barrel of the main gun is quickly brought to bear on the group of villains.
The cannon fires.  A huge explosion blooms from just in front of the group,
blasting them from their feet.  They land some 10 feet away, groaning, but
(miraculously) with no blood or obvious injury.  Serpenta's dress is ripped
to shreds, suggestively, but not obscenely.  This is a family show, after
all.

        COWBOY ZYDECO
Yee-haw!  Score one fer thuh good guys!

CUT TO OPENING CREDITS